Rebel or Refined

This blog has to be the most boring blog on the block! But I didn't create it to be award winning or eloquently written. I created it to be a venue to record the happenings of my life and those I'm related to. So really who cares if its boring. If you don't like it then don't read it! :) I say that with the kindest, most genteel, southern smile on my face...

Anyway...

In September, I started a book titled "So You Don't Want to Go to Church Anymore". I finally finished it last week. It was great! The title sounds like a rebellious read, I am aware; but it's not like that at all. This book opened my eyes to see God's people and my privilege as a Christian to His people so much differently. In fact, it helped me to understand grace so much better than I ever understood it to mean; and "Be still and know I am God!" and "blind faith" make so much more sense now.

Honestly, though, I did start reading the book out of rebellion to the church (our church specifically), or so I thought. I now see God leading me to it to better my walk with Him and open my eyes anew to the glorious wonders He has for me to be an extension of His love to His people.

He used this author to help me understand and defeat the anger and frustration with God that was bound up in my heart. He exposed the prideful heart I held so tightly too; and debunked every excuse I had ever made about why I didn't want to go to church any more and why I didn't want to "serve" His people any more. He has softened my heart toward His people and given me a new outlook on my journey of faith. He has given me His "eyes to see and His heart to love" the broken and unlovable. O.k. so I am not perfect at it, but that's the purpose of being on this earth...refinement. It's a journey for all of us! You don't just get to where you're going in a blink of an eye, you have to travel to get there. Part of that traveling is what makes us who we are and how we can best serve others, all for the glory of our Father.

This book is a fictional writing, however, the context is far from imaginary!

I really hope to expound more specifically on "how" this book has refined my walk with "Father" in future posts.

A New Hobby

In all my spare time I have found a hobby I really like. Canning! My mom used to have a garden and we canned when I was a child. I pretty much didn't remember anything about canning except the mess it made and the wonderful products that we would eat all winter; but mostly the mess.

This year I planted a garden, not a very big one, and I started late in the season so I didn't get too much of anything out of it. In my garden I had tomatoes, lettuce, zucchini, cucumbers, broccoli, sugar snap peas, green peppers, hot banana peppers and cabbage; only a few plants of each. Not too long after I planted my garden the tomatoes got blight and I had to remove them. I did get a lot of cucumbers, zucchini and Banana Peppers; it was so sporadic though I couldn't do anything with them except eat them as they came in. Fall came and the garden was done, so I uprooted all the plants and called it a learning season!

I was determined to can something, so off to the market I went! I found a road side stand that had some tomatoes left, I bought a 1/2 bushel of "seconds" Roma Tomatoes and canning jars. When I got home I Google searched "how to can tomato sauce" on the internet and found a "You Tube" video on the subject. This guy made it look so easy, and most important to me, NOT MESSY! So I canned my first 7 quarts of tomato sauce. When I realized this was successful, my thoughts were "Oh imagine the possibilities!" And I began to dream about what I could plant in the garden next spring, and what I could make over the winter and can.

The next week we went on a field trip to an orchard north of us. October is apple month pretty much all over the state. So I bought some apples, came home and canned applesauce.

We quickly ran out of apples so my friend and I took our kids to another apple orchard and "picked our own" apples. I bought another 1/2 bushel of tomatoes to can. Yesterday I put up an other 7 quarts of tomato sauce and on Monday I plan to can another 5 quarts of applesauce.
This isn't nearly enough to get us through the winter, but I think I have learned a valuable skill for next year and how to plan my garden for the spring.

test text to my blog

To Support or Not

I have spent the majority of my summer working with a friend resuscitating a homeschooling support group here in Pittsburgh. We have done so much planning a working on this group. We've come up with new themes and new agendas for meetings and new place to meet, and even a new website!
Somewhere around mid August we started encountering some negativity. One obstacle after another kept coming up. We kept going right through them like they were nothing. After awhile it started to wear on me a bit. I just got tired of the stupid battles at every turn. It was crazy! Didnt these people understand we are only trying to make our group better? Why are they so bit into the nothingness they have made this group into? I didn't understand it! We asked questions we sent out surveys to the group, we asked more questions...we tried to listen to the groups voice and make our group into what the majority wanted it to be. In order to accomplish this task, we had to make some sacrifices. One being, we had to raise dues to accommodate some of the financial things that we needed to do to make these changes. My friend and I went on anyway trudging through the muck of grumpiness, trying to keep our eyes on the bigger picture, trusting that we had really heard from God about this, and what was best for everyone not just a few. Trying to keep our main focus on the new home-schoolers not just the "old-heads" and their comfortableness with status quo.
The September meeting was creeping up on us, my friend and I were beginning to get excited about launching our wonderful ideas to the group Monday night; we could hardly wait! We just knew our excitement would so infectious the group would be great!! We thought people were going to jump right on board with our vision and we'd be inspired to "go forth!"
Well as it turns out, a few nay sayers showed up that night asking a lot of "doubting Thomas" questions and not quite as supportive of our "re-newed" group as my friend and I had hoped they would be. I mean the meeting went ok, I guess, but over all, I am not so sure they saw things the way we'd hoped they would. In fact, we have a running total of about 50 members in out little group and only 10 or 12 showed up to see what all the hype was about.
I have to say I was a little disappointed. Things have gotten worse sense then. Membership is my part of the leadership team responsibility. It opens up in August and closes in October. It is quickly coming to a close, and I cant wait! After all the bickering I just want out. Dave fully supports me to finish out my duties then quietly drop off into the back ground eventually fading out.
My new plan is to pray about what God has for me in the area of home-school support. Dave and I believe He has something for me to do in this area, but I am not sure what it is right now. Maybe a blog...maybe a website...maybe nothing...

What To Do

We are at the end of the second week of school. The first week was a bit rough, but we managed to get through it. There were many tears and bad attitudes, and Benjamin had more free time than ever before. While I worked with the "middles" Ben worked on redesigning the house. I couldn't wait until the last assignment was finished last Friday afternoon. We are trying the cyber school for Hannah and Aaron this year, or I should say this week. It's just not going to work! It's too much like a public school. Last year the set up was a lot different in that I could arrange subjects however I wanted to in order to get things done. Not so this year! I liked it so much that I convinced a friend to do it because I thought it would help her with her load of teaching too. She has boys exactly my kids age. Boy was I wrong for her and me! I ordered Sonlight yesterday it should be here next week sometime. I'll look through it and make sure that's what I want to do before I call the school and withdraw them. I just can't get ANYTHING done with they way they want me to do this schooling. Each subject is supposed to take an hour each with the exception of Language Arts which is two hours, for each child. There are 5 subjects for each child. That's 12 hours a day of school! So I think I might be going back to traditional homeschool. I am going to pray on it and continue to seek God about what to do, but I think my gut is right in bagging the whole thing. It was so nice having the stress of planning off of my plate for the summer; I really enjoyed the summer break this year. I have learned something from this; I don't have to plan the entire summer for school, and that I need to take a break in the summer for the kids sake as well as my own. God is so good to use ALL things for my good and His glory! The best part is He already knows what is going to happen, I just need to listen better.

Summers over

ok so school is about to start. We have had a very busy summer with regular season softball, and extended season of lacrosse, and softball is starting up again for the fall. Hannah and Danielle are playing fast pitch.
I feel like I accomplished a lot this summer. Tawney and I got fish up and running, we're just about done with that. Danielle and I painted the living room and touched up the trim in the kitchen. I wanted to paint the kitchen and the bathroom, but I ran out of time. I started to clean the carpet in the living room only to find out it wasn't worth cleaning so we made an insurance claim and we're getting new carpet. I planted a garden this summer. It went in too late for the tomatoes to grow but I have gotten a lot of zucchini and cucumbers so far. It looks like the peppers will do well also. The funny thing is I planted broccoli and cabbage too. LOL they are doing great! I actually harvested two broccoli.
The sunporch is almost done. My brother was living out there for about a month. But he's gone now so it looks like we can finish it on time. I mean by October before it gets really cold and the kids can have a place to go out of my hair.
We start cyber school next week. That should be interesting. I have4 kids in cyber and they each have 4 different homeroom teachers. I hope they dont plan on me sitting through 4 different orientation meetings.AARRGGG!!! I dont want to go to one of them...but we do what we must! It looks like school will be really fun this year for them. I am hoping to go school shopping this weekend for them to buy some school supplies and a few new clothes. To make it as close to "real" school as I can.

But God

The title to this blog is let my lifesong be a pleasing fragrance to you...that's not in reference to you exactly but rather to God.

Lets think about that for a minute. What exactly does that mean?

Let my lifesong be a pleasing fragrance to you.

Well I can tell you what its not...

Its not judging or criticism or harsh words or thoughts. It's not getting caught up in the past mistakes or sins of your life.



Why is it so hard to get away from my past? why does it seem to keep following me. Well this time I guess I sort of invited it. OK I'm speaking of my brother. Hes here, I mean here living with us. Its been four weeks now. and finally it looks like hes moving out next week. At first I felt bad for him, but not so much now. I'm not angry just tired of facing my past EVERYDAY! I hate what i had to live through to get to the good part of my life. I don't want to revisit it everyday at random times throughout the day. I worked very hard to get over or suppress those feelings and memories so it wouldn't ruin me or my present life. I hate being reminded of things my mom did to me or us. I hate thinking about how much I hated my life, how depressed I was. Life wasn't worth living for a while. In fact if I hadn't been Catholic I would have committed suicide in my mid-teen years. BUT GOD...But God knew what He had in store for me after all the wrath was over; so He super-naturally empowered me to go on. I said it was because I was Catholic, but the truth is God had a strong hold on my life long before I knew him.

At random times Satan temps me to dispare about those things in my past, and today was one of those days. BUT GOD...was there to help me through it once again. I am so glad I have the Lord to help me through, because those daggers of doubt can be hard to fight through myself.

Lord let my lifesong be a pleasing fragrance to you, not because of what I've done, but because of what you've done for me.

In His Own Time

Magical Moraine State Park

Boy, my Benjamin is as strong willed as both of his parents! I have been, unsuccessfully, wracking my brain trying to potty train this child for months now. I finally said "Enough is enough, I QUIT!" "I hope you won't start Kindergarten in diapers; so God it's up to you to tell this boy when he needs to do this!"
I went back to clipping coupons for whatever diaper was on sale and quietly changed him every time he needed it. The only thing I would tell him is, he HAD to tell me when he pooped because if he didn't he would have a VERY bad bummy. So, for the last week he had been faithfully telling me when he pooped and I would commend him on his efforts.
I had planned a day trip to the lake with some friends on Friday, so on Thursday I had to shop for that trip. I took Ben with me to Sam's Club. I guess Ben was a little unsure of what a lake was, so he kept telling me he didn't want to go to the "wake" there are alligators there. I tried to reassure him that there are no alligators in the lake. So while we're at Sam's, he says to me "Mommy, I not go to wake (lake) awigators there." Although quite frustrated about this topic, I calmly said "Ben! There are NO alligators IN the LAKE. I promise!" He thought about this for a second or two then said "Are there pottys there?" I responded nonchalantly, "Yep there are. Why? Are you planning on using one?" He said, "Not today,(pause) morrow I do it." A disbelieving, "Really?" came out of my mouth then continued to shop.
Lake day was finally here! Oh we were so excited to go. The "Little's" and I packed up our stuff, loaded into the Sandfoss's truck, and off we went to Moraine State Park. After a few minutes of watching the older kids in the water and nothing bad had happened to them, Benjamin decided he wanted his swimsuit on too. So I told him that if we did this he would HAVE to tell me when he needed to poo, because if he pooped in his suit, then I'd have to throw it in the trash. The ironic part is, I had swim diapers for just such an occasion, but forgot to pack them. He agreed, like he usually did, so I changed him and he went in the water, sort of. In about two minutes he said "Mom I go to go potty." I looked at him strangely and said "you mean now, like in your suit?" He said "no I go on potty". Again disbelievingly, I took him to the restroom, and wouldn't you know it, he went! Ok, he's done that before, so I wasn't all that impressed, but I encouraged him non the less. A few more minutes went by and he said "I have to go potty" again. So we went, again. By the end of the day he had gone on the potty 5 times, and two of those times were "poopy" trips! And not one time did I ask him if he had to go, he told me every time when he had to go. He was right "morrow I go on the potty." I could not believe what a day it was.
Ben and Aaron were in the water the whole day, it was great to see them overcome their fear in such a small amount of time. Hannah was being Hannah, "a fish".

Update on Dave

I think most of you know Dave is a Hepatitis C carrier and he goes for liver enzyme tests once a year to keep tabs on the advancement of this virus. When he had some routine tests done a few months ago at a check up the initial lab report came back not good. His liver enzymes were very high, this would indicate the hepatitis virus was out of remission and his liver is at risk. At this point it might be helpful to know that normal liver enzyme count should be between 0 and 60; Dave’s enzyme count was 160,000!

So we made an appointment with the Liver Center downtown do pursue treatment. At that time the doctor had mentioned that the treatment might not work on him because of some other factors that needed to be addressed. So he ordered more blood work, 11 vials to be exact, and a CT scan of his liver to get more specific answers as to why the enzymes were so high and to have more information on to how to treat the virus and if we even could treat it.

Yesterday we went back to the Liver Center for the results of the second set of blood work and the CT scan. After a lot of doctor talk, he finally told us the good news; his liver count was 56 AND he has Type II Hepatitis C. What does that mean? Well, it’s the only kind of Hep C virus that has been known to rid its self from the body on its own without treatment! PRAISE GOD!!!!! The doctor is running another round of tests just to make sure the last results were accurate. Based on many other things that the blood work revealed (I wont go into it here) Dave and I are pretty sure the second set was right. We left the office with the doctor scratching his head about the entire thing.

The doctor referred to Dave a few times as being “lucky”. Dave boldly said to this Jewish doctor “It’s not luck! It’s God’s grace on my life!” Amen to that!

Aside from a little high cholesterol Dave is in perfect health, in fact, we both are (to my knowledge). So my question to God was, “then why the scare?” Joyfully and full of tears and admiration to God, I have to say (aside from the obvious opportunity we get to start exercising and eating healthierJ) it’s because He loves us so much He wanted to remind us of His tender mercy toward those He loves, that He has our lives in the palm of His hands and He controls the universe even our health. He’s trustworthy and has the power to heal when He sees fit!

Being honest here, facing the thought I might be loosing my husband as a consequence of a choice he made over 20 years ago, was heart wrenching. In fact, I went through a full range of emotions, from shock and anger, to self pity and everything in between, when this resurfaced.

When I finally let go of what I thought I could control, and let God have my husband if that’s what He thought was best for our family, then “the peace of God” fell over me like a flood. I knew God had our best interest at heart and I felt truly whatever happened would be for our good and His glory.

Dave is still not “out of the woods” so to speak, but the prognosis is good. If the 3^rd set of tests comes back still elevated then we will most likely pursue treatment, at which the kill rate if the virus for a “type II” is very high.

Thank you so much for all your prayers and support; we are very blessed to be apart of a church body that truly cares for its people!

"Not" a Day Like Any Other

Last night Dave and I went to a party hosted by a family on Dillon's lacrosse team. I really do not like going to events like this for a few reasons, but the main reason is I am not a social person, and I am easily intimidated by people - especially women. God, through the Holy Spirit, has been working on this area of my life as of late so I thought it might be OK to go join my husband in a evening of social engagement. :)

I knew going into this the kind of people we would be mingling with because I have talked to some of them at the games; and I've heard rumors. Well, to make a 5 hour long story short, these people were so sad to watch! You couldn't really tell the difference between the parents or their teenagers! They were talking about anybody and everybody. The more they drank the more personal and nasty their conversations got about people. I mean no one was safe from their onslaught of slander! They were talking about everyone from the superintendent of the school to the very people (including the kids) at the party.

One of the funniest things that happened was when the ladies were sitting in a circle chatting about the girls in school, they began to tell stories about themselves and how "bad" they were. OH MY GOSH, was that funny! One of the ladies was sharing about how the worst thing she did was get busted at a drinking party by the police in college, and how she got out of it by dropping a name of a kid she had class with. There were similar stories like that flying around this circle of middle aged women. I laughed to myself thinking, "Wow! If they only knew the stories Dave and I could share; their hair would stand on end!" But I didn't say anything, as they probably wouldn't believe me anyway. I wanted them to keep think whatever they were thinking about me and I am sure they shared their thoughts with each other after I walked away - there's no doubt! I don't think whatever they had to say about me could be anything too damaging. The worst thing they could say might be about what I wore, a dress, a modest dress; I didn't have much to say about anything else. I guess I could be made out to be a mousy housewife with no opinion. Or maybe how backward I am for home-schooling. If that's what I left with them, praise God! I'm really good with that.

Meanwhile that is certainly NOT the thoughts I have of them. In fact, re-thinking the events and conversations of the evening caused me to be even more thankful to God for saving me and Dave and allowing us to raise our family in the instruction of the Lord. It also caused me to draw closer to God and praying even more fervently for my children to find godly spouses that will have the same beliefs we do so their lives will go well with them. We are definitely different than those people; set apart for God, by God. My heart is sad for them. Their families are biting and devouring each other as it's explained in the book of James. Their daughters are exposing themselves in ways that are not God honoring and their sons are falling into their traps, as the book of Proverbs warns us about. I pray that God will have pity on them (as He did us) and allow them to hear and see Truth soon, before it's too late.

Oh Lord please guard my heart from self-righteousness, and pride. You know the life you saved us from. Help me to remember that, and know it is ONLY by your grace we (Dave & I and our children) are not counted among them.

Well, it's been a while since my last post, I know. Life around here takes on a crazy theme once Spring springs into action. We have softball practices and games (for the two girls), lacrosse practices and games, and flag football practices and games. Not to mention, speech two days a week, piano lessons once a week, care group every other week, and small group leader meetings once a month, youth group twice a month. Oh my gosh, I am getting tired just typing all that out! I am sure I have forgotten a few things. The good news is that a lot of these things are coming to an end very soon! As much as I cant wait for them to get started in the late winter, I am just as excited for them to be over in the late spring. July will be pretty crazy this year, as Dillon will be playing for a travel lacrosse team. That means he will be traveling to other states (relatively close by) to play tournaments on the weekends.

As some of you might not know, Benjamin has been diagnosed with carbohydrate malabsorption. Basically, his body does not break double molecule sugars down at all, and in the small intestine enzymatic acids try to break them down but can't; so it passes into the large intestines where an enormous amount of acid and water flush out the undigested food. This causes acid like burning on Ben's little bummy. Not to mention the damage that gets done to the intestines from the over production of enzymatic acids. It's beginning to bother his belly now when he eats foods he shouldn't have. I am still in the education stages of this life long dietary issue but, so far, it looks very complicated! I can tell you that it's VERY difficult to control every thing that goes into his mouth. I mean, how do you tell a well meaning family member whom hasn't seen him is years "No you cant treat him with candy!" and "no you cant share your soda with him." and "No you can't take him out for ice cream." and "No he cant have those chips, or sandwich or hot dog or..." Just fill in the blank with whatever you eat that you would like to treat a child to and he can't have it! So I guess your next question would be..."what can he eat?" Well, not a lot. And pretty much nothing he likes to eat. I mean really how many eggs and hamburgers with out the bun can a person eat on a daily diet? He cant eat anything that's commercial dairy so I was forced to find a raw milk supply. That's NOT cheap! You'd think it would be considering there's no processing of the milk, right? Well, NO! It's $6.00 a gallon! $6.00 a gallon, are you KIDDING ME?!? So from that milk I can make raw milk yogurt. He likes yogurt. I am still in the trial stages of this milk to see if it will be ok for him to drink. I haven't gotten a true reading yet because SOME PEOPLE (not mentioning any names) keep giving him things he can't eat. So today was the 14th or 20th (maybe the 50th, who knows) time to start over being careful watching what he eats so I can know for sure what is working and what isn't working. So at this point you might be wondering "Hmm, if there's a diagnosis for this there must be a treatment for it. I wonder why she's beating her head off the wall trying all this random stuff?" Well the answer to that is quite simple. Yes, there is a treatment, it's called trial and error. At least that's what the dietitian at Children's Hospital told me. That's not at all what I expected to hear. I really thought they would give me a meal plan of some sort and a prescription for some type of medicine. Now at this point I almost with he had Celiac disease. That would be so much easier to treat!

That's all I'm going to dump on you for now. Believe me there is MUCH more going on here than just that. Like Dave's liver issues, my brother's wife passes away, Danielle gets a car, we're at the end of another year of homeschooling, college searching is coming up...take a deep breath.

Ok, I'm breathing again!

Please be praying for our family, I know the Lord is close to the broken hearted, I can feel Him breathing on me daily!

Sunny Days

I just love sunny days! Don't you? Oh man, they make feel great! Like Tony Tiger GREEAATT!!! The kids play outside all day, I get the house clean and laundry done they don't eat me out of house and home because they are outside playing! That means less trips to the grocery store...LIFE IS GOOD!!!!

Benjamin and I went to the speech evaluation the other day. She was very nice. Ben even talked to her! Which was nice since that's why we were there, right? Anyway, she said he's pretty bad, but he's at an age that it can be fixed pretty quick. She estimated the insurance would pay for 30 to 60 visits, but that probably wouldn't be enough for him. YIPPEEE!!! I was wondering what I would do with all that extra time I had in the day...now I know...SPEECH!

Random Ramble

Wow! How long has it been since I posted on this blog? I forgot the name of it, that's how long it's been!

Life has been so busy here as of late, that it's hard to keep my thoughts straight in my head much less get them out into a readable format for you to understand. So I'll try to give you highlights to catch up.

Benjamin:
It's a good thing God made Ben so damn cute! He can be so ornery at times.
We started potty training but that was a bust, so we went back to diapers for the time being. In fact, as I recall, it was just in time because he got that stomach virus a few days later that cause several messes that I would have had to clean up if he did not have a diaper on. PHEW...good call on my part! :) Thanks Ben for being so willful!

Just after that episode he had a yearly check up with his pediatrician. She recommended he have a speech evaluation and a GI evaluation. So I made those appointments as soon as we got home. He goes for the speech tomorrow (Monday) and the GI next week. I had to to break him from the "Binky"; thankfully it only took a week. He did so well; now he's completely free of that nasty habit! Come summer time he'll be potty trained and that will be the end of my Ben's baby days. This kind of makes me sad. Sad enough to have another one? Well...
I THINK NOT!!!!!! :)

Aaron:
Aaron is doing well.. Basketball season just ended and He'll be starting Flag Football in a few weeks. He's really excited about that. The program he's in is great! It's call Upward Sports.
He lost his first tooth last week. It was sort of odd in that he lost the top tooth first. Most (all the kids I know any way) loose the bottom ones first then the top ones. No so with Aaron, but then again he's not a typical boy. I just love that about him! He's such a good boy, he kind of blend into the scenery around here. So if it weren't for his quirky little issues, he could easily slip through the cracks undetected. Case in point - can you believe the "tooth fairy" forgot to come the night he lost his FIRST TOOTH?!?! Poor kid - he doesn't deserve such a forgetful mom!

Hannah:
Wow! Is she getting tall or what! And mouthy! She's go girly too, everything she wears has to match, and she color coordinates her accessories! Too CUTE!
She starts softball in a few weeks. She is very excited about that because Dave moved her up to the next older league, so she'll be play "real" softball this year. I can't wait until this year it should be fun to watch her games.
Hannah started taking piano lessons in February. She really likes it and and caught on very quickly too. She not so bad for a beginner either.
Cyber school is going ok for her. I like the curriculum this school uses, but I think it might be too advanced for her at this point with her reading / comprehension issues. Her teacher said some children just need more time to develop that part of their brain; thus they recommend holding children back. Dave and I are starting to think about what we'll be doing next year for her, if she doesn't come around pretty quick, we might pull her out and home school her until her brain matures enough to handle the work load. Either way, I just want what is best for Hannah; she is such a wonderfully, delightful (did I mention willful?)child. I am sure God will give us wisdom for this.

Dillon:
You should see Dillon! He's 15 1/2 years old and just a hair under 6ft! I cant believe how tall he is getting. And so handsome, all the girls just love him! What's not to love - he's kind, sweet and cute!
He's transitioned fantastically into the public school. It was a good choice for him. This year is the first year Peter's Township has had an official school sponsored Lacrosse team, so they had to have try-out to make the team. Varsity try-outs were the week he got the stomach virus and missed a day or two of practice. He was a little disappointed that he didn't make the team. Last week they had Junior Varsity try-outs and he did make that team so he's pretty pleased!

Danielle:
Danielle is amazing and I just adore her. She struggles with whether she should go to college or not; if she goes what would she take that would benefit her calling, or if she doesn't go, then what does she do for a trade? God has given her raw natural talent that she so much desires to use for His kingdom, but is having a hard time figuring out "how" to use them. Personally I know she is struggling with what to do, but it is such a joy from a mother's point of view to watch how she is really trying to hear form God and know his will. I will not be disappointed in whatever she does because I have confidence she will be right where God wants her to be.

Dave & I:
We are holding on to every last weekend of peace and quiet we can. Soon the craziness starts and we'll be longing for these quiet days as we run from one field to the next every Saturday and Sunday until the end of June! Are we nuts? Maybe. But, last night Dave and I went to dinner with some friends that will be graduating their 3rd and last child from high school this spring. As they reminisced about the old days of baseball and other events that their children were involved in, during those early childhood through high school days, they were a little saddened about those days being gone so quickly. May times I find myself wishing the day away during these hard and difficult times of child rearing only because I want life to be easier, quieter and cleaner. What I don't think about is how one day when my life is easier, quieter, and cleaner I'll wish I could have just one of those difficult, dirty, loud, noisy, days back again, because I will miss it.

Lord, thank you for our children. I desire to have a grateful heart for the wonderful days you have given me with my family. What a blessing they are to me... everyday!

An Over Zealous Mom :(

"WHAT IN THE BLUE HELL WAS I THINKING?"

Sue was somewhat right in her comment about Ben being just like his mother. Although the poor kid is really like both his parents in that, he will do NOTHING he doesn't want to do before it's his idea. Potty training certainly was NOT his idea, let me tell you! Benjamin very rarely poos twice a day much less three times a day. Well not so today! AARRGGGG!!!!!

I quit until Spring when he can go naked! I hated cloth diapers, but I did it to save money, I hated cleaning out the "mess". I dont have to do that anymore, so then why would I torture myself with this god awful task if it's NOT HIS IDEA!

Will he start kindergarten in diapers? Probably not. I needed to get a dose of reality and a shot of perspective!

HE"S NOT READY!

Back to the store to buy more Pampers!!!

Ben's Big Day

I have been changing diapers for 17 years! I have had my fill of wiping butts for my life time. I have been brain washing Benjamin since he turned 2 that when he turns "3" he will be a big boy and he will then start using the big potty to "pee and poo." He would always scream at me "NO! SCARY POTTY! ME NOT DO IT!"

I would let him think that for the time being and at the next diaper change gently remind him that when he turns "3" that he will be a big boy and then he would use the potty like...(who ever)...then he would say "mmmm, nope...me small now...no potty!"

Yesterday the "big day" finally came; he turned "3"!!!! I could not wait to get started on this final phase of babyhood! I tried like everything to get him to put those "big boy" underpants on but he just wouldn't do it! So, with a patient yet sister smile I think to myself "be patient you'll have your chance tomorrow." BUT I WANT HIM TO DO IT NOW! Doesn't he know how long I have waited for this day? WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIM? My response..."OK sweetie, you can wear them in the morning." He ignored me and jumped off the bed and out the door he went.

Well today day went great! Benjamin did not want to do it at first, but then he did. By the looks of how the day went as far as times gone in the potty vs. times it ran down his leg, it looks like the day was bad, (in fact he didn't make it the potty once) but I've learned I have to count the little victories with Ben; like, he at least put the underpants on and didn't scream about them all day!

This kind of patients only comes with having more than one or two children I think. I would have NEVER let Danielle or Dillon get away with the things I let Benjamin get away with!

I can't wait until tomorrow!!!!

Kids Are Great

Aaron: "Ben you know when I get bigger and I play sports in school like Dillon, you know like 6th grade and 9th grade and stuff like that, I am going to be a black boy! I'm gonna be real good at sports."
Ben: "Really?" (only spoken in Ben language)
Aaron: "Well maybe I'll be really dark like Dad!" "And I'll be really good at it too!"
Ben: "Daddy do it?"

This is what I heard in the car yesterday driving to a friends house. I thought I was going to pee myself! Aaron was so serious!

God's Whisper

Here’s a thought for the day from Charles Spurgeon’s Morning and Evening Devotions:

February 5 –

LISTEN

“At that time Jesus Answered”

Matthew 11:25

What an extraordinary way to begin this verse: “At that time Jesus answered.” It is extraordinary because no one asked a question, nor was Jesus having a conversation with any human being. Yet, it states, “Jesus answered and said, “I thank you, Father.” When you answer a question, you answer the person who is speaking to you. Who was speaking to Christ? His Father. Yet, there is no record of it.

This verse teaches that Jesus has continual fellowship with His Father and that God spoke to his heart so often that here it was not necessary to record it. It was Jesus’ habit, indeed His very life, to talk with God.

Let’s learn the lesson this simple text teaches. Just as Jesus was in this world so are we, and like Jesus we need silent fellowship with the Father in order to answer Him. The world will not know who we are talking to, but we will respond to that secret voice made audible to us through the Spirit of God. And we will recognize with joy that God has spoken.

Let us answer and speak to God, either to say that He is faithful and true, or to confess our sins through the conviction of the Holy Spirit, or acknowledge His mercy, or affirm the great truths which God the Holy Spirit has opened to our understanding.

What a privilege to have intimate fellowship with the father of our spirits. It is a secret hidden from the world, a joy that even our closest friends cannot share. To hear the whispers of God’s love our ears must be clean and ready to listen to His voice.

This day, may our hearts be ready to hear when God speaks. Like Jesus, may we be prepared to answer Him.

What hinders you from responding as quickly as Jesus did to the whispers of God in your ear? What does 1Corinthians 1:7-9 say about this?

He has given us every good thing to walk in His Holy Spirit - we lack nothing!

If this is so, then you might ask the question “Then why am I still having trouble with this issue? Maybe you should read James 4:1-3.

When we ask the Father with wrong motives our hearts are to spend what God gives us on our own selfish desires. But when we ask with a heart of submissiveness to our Lord and Savior, to please God, not appease our selfishness, then God is quick to give us the desires of our heart!

May the Lord bless your socks off today!

It's Good To Be Home

It was so good to go away. Lord knows we needed a vacation. But it's really good to be home. We had a slow adjustment time though. Some of us came home with the stomach flu. So not only did we have to re-adjust to the cold weather, and carefully pick food to eat but life with out "maid service" has to be the hardest adjustment, for me at least. I'm the maid here. I think we're good now food wise but can you ever really adjust to no maid service,... really? I feel like I was a little spoiled; here are few examples: Benjamin tosses his cookies at 7:00 a.m. all over the bedding and floor, I immediately call maid service to clean it up and "voila" there they are! We leave to go to the parks all day, the room is a mess in the mornings when we leave and then when we get home its clean again! I LOVED IT!!!!! Nobody else appreciated those maids more than I did I swear!

Writing out this post I am a little distracted as the Steelers are playing in Super Bowl 48 against the Arizona Cardinals! It's a great game! It looks like it might be a blow out currently the score is 20 to 7 in the fourth quarter. If they win (the Steelers that is) Dave is going to claim it was me. He made me wear a Steelers jersey tonight. I have never wore a Steelers anything until tonight. Dave's weird like that though.

So for what its worth... GO STEELERS!!!!

Mt. Laundry

Several months ago when we were in the planning stages of this vacation we're about to embark upon, I never thought about packing for seven people for seven days! What an ordeal! I have been doing laundry for three days in order to get every thing clean to see what we were going to take and what we're not. Can you believe the kids have the audacity to wear the clothes I just washed. Can't they go naked for a few days? I am exhausted! If I have to wash one more load of laundry before January 27th, I think I'll commit harry carry, honestly!

At any rate, we're packed and just about ready to go. I packed all seven of us in 4 suitcases. Tomorrow I'll pack the fun bag for the kids to take on the plane, and then on Tuesday morning I'll pack the bathroom bag, and off we go! I think we are planning on leaving around 6:30 or 7:00 a.m. our flight leaves at 9:15 I think. Hopefully the weather will co-operate.

Please pray for us. Dave and I want so much for the kids to enjoy this vacation, we are really hoping we don't get sick. You know me the "germ-a-phobe" who knows what we can pick up at an airport... :)

This will be my last post until we get to Florida. I hope you all stay warm...we will be!

It was a Ben day

Ben was at optimal speed today. While I was helping Hannah and Aaron with their school, this after noon, the house grew incredibly quiet. Ben had very quietly, crept out of sight into my room. I am hoping the thoughts in his head were to help mommy, but for some reason I think he was really just out to enjoy himself at the expense of my sanity! He knocked every thing off my dresser,onto the floor, and proceeded to cover the entire dresser and bed with a large size box of baby powder!

After Dillon helped me clean up the mess, I decided it was time to stop school for the day and head out for some physical education. This boy needed to run! So we went to the Rec Center. You should have seen the them run, oh my gosh, you would have thought I kept these kids in cages all day! They ran like I have never seen them run before. They must have made ten laps, some walking but mostly running.

BTW, I did walk again today, I think I did 20 laps again, I know I ran 4 1/2 laps, not consecutively, but hey I did it! Then I went down to the basketball courts and shots hoops with the kids. The good news is we were all covered with baby powder so we didn't stink!!! :)

New Year Resolutions

OK It's New Year's Eve and mid-night is getting closer and closer, everyone around you is bragging about what they are resolving to do or not to do this new year. Did you fall victim? Did you make any New Year Resolutions? Not me, being the "stickler to the rules" kinda person that I am, I refused to make any! I set the bar too high for my self then I don't do whatever I "resolved" to do. Next thing I know, I'm beatin' myself up over not following through...it's a vicious cycle!

So I went about things a little differently this year. I waited until January 4th to decide what I was going to "try" to accomplish. See this way I am tricking myself into thinking its a trial basis; that way I don't set the bar too high. LOL

So the "bigs" and I went to the Rec Center today and started walking. Danielle counted 20 laps we made! I personally ran, yes I said RAN, 2 laps of those 20. Those two laps I ran weren't consecutive, but they were full laps running, none the less!! For those of you who know me (well enough) you know the "e" word is a no-no in our house. I would like to "try" do this on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays but I'm not committing to that until I see how much pain I'm in in the morning. :)

You can feel free to leave any comments you wish. I'd love to hear from you...whats your "new year resolution"?

BTW I have a Facebook account now and so you can post on that as well if you like. Dave has one too! Hope to see ya'll there...